I'm Not That Awesome

I was in the staff room this morning, getting ready for work, when one of the staff members came upstairs for her break. She's not exactly my favourite staff member. I said hello, and continued reading my book.

Well, she decided to start talking to me. And she began saying how I was such a wonderful person, and just being around me made her feel happy, because I was always so happy and so kind and so patient etc etc etc. And I'm there thinking "Um, is this actually me we're talking about."

She then asked me if I had any friends like that. I said that most of my friends, especially ones from church, are very positive people who really make everything seem nicer. I then added that I didn't think I would have gotten through the past two years without God and His church.

She asked if we did things like praying for each other, and I explained how we had a time in every church service where you could stand up for prayer, or ask the people around you to pray for you.

She mentioned how important it was to pray and send out positive thoughts.

I said how I didn't regard them to be the exact same thing. I said that several of my prayers were not "positive" prayers, but angry prayers where you want to demand justice, or peace, or the ceasing of pain etc. "Even at work when a child is just crying all the time, I feel really impatient, and my prayers at that time are not happy prayers. Neither for that matter are many of the psalms. But when I feel that way I try to take my feelings to God."

We then started talking about the problem of theodicy (no, we did not call it that). I mentioned that God does everything for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28). I said that it meant that I could find purpose in even the hardest of things because they were God's tools to teach me something I would need later.

I stressed to her I am just not that awesome, I am a very mean person at times, but that because God was working in me and for me, I was able to act in a "nicer" manner.

Praise God for that conversation! Please pray for this work collegue, that she will be led to the truth and will come to be one of those who love God and are called according to His purpose.