Witnessing Failures

I love apologetics. I think it’s so fascinating, and I love to share with my friends why I believe in Jesus and how I try to live out my life as a result.

In fact, I like this so much that my friend Stephen apparently thinks my hidden spiritual gift is evangelism. Which made his girl-friend, my housemate Kallie laugh. It made me laugh to. I so don’t think so.

I have written before how the thing is to be obedient. Don’t worry about what your spiritual gifting is. Sure, you will be better at some things than others. We all are. But the thing is to do what you can in the situation that you are currently in – whether the situation calls for “spiritual” ministry or material ministry or anything else.

And boy, do I struggle with this. I am actually really bad at starting a conversation. Sure, once the conversation gets going, I’m usually all right. But starting one is another matter. I mean, I plan often out my phone calls on paper because otherwise I find it too difficult to dial the number. (Seriously. I have issues.)

But even when I am in a conversation, I am often SO tempted to do less than my best. I am so often tempted to let a few things slide because it’s easier, because then others will think better than me. (Fear of man = sin. I’m working on it.)

Two examples from recent times, both in relation to speaking to others (who started the conversation, no less) demonstrate this. Just before Easter I was going to the library and I bumped into two Mormons. They asked for some directions, then turned the conversation to matters of God etc. They were kind of amazed that I even know any part of Mormon theology (they don’t believe in the Trinity, etc) so we had an interesting five minute conversation. In the course of it, they mentioned how they believe in the Bible but believe that it is full of errors and that textual criticism has proved that.

The thing is, I actually know a small amount of textual criticism, and it supports the opposite – that the Bible is reliable in pretty much every aspect. And I can give enough information on this to demonstrate my point.

But I didn’t. And afterwards I felt terrible. And even when I ran into them for a second time (with my friend Kallie, just after Easter) I didn’t bring it up. Whatever happened to being always ready to give an answer?

The second one is happening now. (Well, not literally now, but I’m stressing about it now.) One of my bus drivers has passed me a few DVDs he burnt, because we then talk about history and philosophy etc. One of the DVDs he gave me was Rome, series 1 and 2. And so, when I was at home sick, I started watching them.

Oh my goodness, they were beyond inappropriate. There was way more scenes of people having s*x than some adult films. I made it through 3 episodes (the history is actually interesting; I’d go make tea while people were being inappropriate) before giving up.

The thing is, the bus driver is going to ask me all about the show next time I catch his bus. And I need to tell him that I thought it was inappropriate, and why.

I know that it is a GREAT witnessing opportunity, but I’m quite frankly, terrified.

So please pray for me.