A few days ago I had a horrible night. I lay in bed, crying for hours, because I am such a wretched person. And yes, I did just admit that online.
I don't remember what it was that made me feel so attrocious; I expect it was that I was impatient with some of the children or something like that. There have been a few days like that recently. But whatever it was, I went to bed convinced that I was the worst person in the entire world, and that there never had been, and never would be, anyone more horrible than me.
So I'm lying there, crying, thinking that I'm such a bad person it's amazing that even God can love me, and that I'm completely worthless as a human being. And my thoughts just kept on going round in circles.
Finally, God broke it. He reminded me that my purpose in life is to glorify Him and enjoy Him forever. Being an altogether sucky person means that one of the ways I've glorified God in the past is for His mercy in loving such a horrible person as me. And that even the smallest changes in my behaviour (and there have been a few, when I think about it rationally) are other ways that I glorify Him. And that the process of me growing is continuing, and I glorify Him in that.
Makes me more that slightly glad I've read the Shorter Catechism!
Q. What is the chief end of man?
A. Man's chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever.
2 comments:
I just love the Westminster Shorter Catechism! Have you read Desiring God yet?
Yes Stephen. We've even discussed it. It's an awesome book. All were in agreement.
Post a Comment